Trusting your child to a therapist can be very emotionally difficult. Parents are used to being the ones that are there to support their kids, and it’s often hard to hand off that responsibility to a therapist – a 3rd party that is here to help your child at their most vulnerable time.
That’s why the process to choose a therapist is so important. It’s so much more than just “credentials” or even experience, though experience does matter. It’s about truly understanding the therapist you work with, and feeling confident that you have chosen someone you can trust with your child’s mental health and wellbeing.
What to Look for in a Child Therapist
There is nothing wrong with “shopping around” for therapists. You do not have to choose the first one you talk to. Even here at Long Island Counseling, we have many therapists available that are AMAZING with children, and if you feel like one is not the right fit, feel free and reach back out and we can connect you with someone else.
With that in mind, you’re looking for someone that your child feels comfortable with. It can take a few sessions to develop that trust, but eventually, you want someone your child can look to for guidance, share their thoughts, and feel like understands them.
Note: it is important to remember that this therapy is not about you. It’s about your child. Your insights and trust are also important, but the right therapist for your child may not be the one you would choose for yourself. With that in mind you’re also looking for someone that has:
- Training in Child-specific Therapies – Not every therapist who works with children has formal training in modalities that are evidence-based for youth. Look for providers with direct experience in CBT for children, play therapy, family therapy, or trauma-focused approaches that match your child’s needs.
- Caseload and Availability – Many providers are overbooked. A therapist with too many clients may not have the flexibility to accommodate reschedules, emergencies, or longer sessions when needed. Asking about their typical caseload and availability provides insight into whether your child will get consistent care.
- Communication Style – The therapist should be able to explain their approach to you in clear, direct terms. If they rely only on vague reassurances or avoid answering practical questions about methods and goals, it may indicate they are not the right fit for collaborative work with parents.
- Comfort with Co-occurring Issues – Children rarely present with a single, isolated concern. A therapist who is experienced with overlapping challenges (for example, ADHD with anxiety, or depression with behavioral concerns) is often better prepared to address the complexities of real-world cases.
- Parent Involvement – Some therapists encourage structured parent participation, while others prefer to work primarily with the child. Neither approach is universally better, but it is important to understand where you will fit into the process and how you’ll be kept informed of your child’s progress.
There should also be goals and ways that the therapist is going to work with your child to make sure that they’re on a path towards wellness. Talking every session is important, but so is having way to evaluate progress.
Practical Steps to Take Before Committing
Beyond the intake session, there are practical actions parents can take to ensure they are making the right choice:
- Consider a Trial Period – Many parents find that after three or four sessions, they have a better sense of whether their child feels comfortable and whether the therapist’s approach is producing small but visible progress.
- See What Your Child Says – While therapy often takes time, look for early signs that your child feels safe. Younger children may express this by being willing to go back. Older children may share details about sessions voluntarily. It is best to give this several sessions, however, as building trust can take time.
- Clarify Reporting – Every therapist has a different policy on how much they share with parents. Some provide session summaries, others check in periodically, and others only update when significant changes occur. Clarifying this ahead of time helps manage expectations.
Choosing a therapist for your child is less about finding the “perfect” person and more about identifying a provider who combines the right training, approach, and availability to meet your child’s needs.
When you approach the process with specific questions and realistic expectations, you increase the likelihood that therapy will be both consistent and effective. If you’re ready to get started, please reach out to Long Island Counseling to connect with one of our therapists.