We’re entering holiday season, and that means that many of us are going to see family that we either haven’t seen all year, or have not seen in such a group setting. In some cases, these may be individuals we haven’t seen in *years* and in other cases it may be the only time that an entire family is located in the same place at the same time with nowhere else to go.
We were recently featured on the Rent.com blog about how to maintain peace over the holidays, even in situations when it’s stressful to be around family members. But, no matter your relationship, this can also be a time to talk about other things of importance. In fact, the conversations you have this holiday season can be used to reduce your anxiety all year.
Anxiety Prevention Through Early Conversation
You never know what the future will bring, which is why it’s so important to be prepared for anything. Part of that preparation comes early – from talking to your family and making sure everyone is on the same page about the road ahead.
For example:
- Long Term Care/Health Plans
Many of us have aging parents. What is the plan for them moving forward? Who is going to be responsible for their care? How are they going to pay for it? If you’re someone that worries often about your parents (or you’re an aging adult that is concerned about your own future), you should talk about what the plan is and make sure you’re all on the same page.
- How is Everyone Doing Mentally/Emotionally/Financially?
One thing that can cause a lot of stress both during the holidays and afterwards is avoiding tough conversations and keeping secrets from your family. If you are close to your family and feel comfortable with them knowing private information, then perhaps now is the right time to talk to them about your needs as a family and see how you can support each other.
- Vacations, Expectations, and Goals
Similarly, accountability is one of the ways that we help reach our goals. For those that are close to their families and supportive of each other, talking to your family about goals (mutual or otherwise) can be a useful way to make sure that you stay accountable and potentially find ways to support each other in the process.
- Rebuilding Relationships
There is no rule that you have to love and heal with your family. Those that have experienced trauma, for example, may find that they’re not ready to forgive and move on, nor might they ever be. However, for those that have always wanted to rekindle relationships with family members, having the tough conversation at a time like the holidays can be a helpful way to get the process started. You can address tough challenges of your past and work through them while together, so that you can go home and know you’re in a better place.
Healthy Healing and Moving Forward
The issues we deal with today can have a big effect on the anxiety and stress we experience in the future, and sometimes, that means having hard conversations with family members now in order to make sure you’re prepared for the years ahead.
That doesn’t mean that you have to always try to heal or grow with family, especially those you’ve struggled with in the past. In those cases, you need healthy boundaries and it’s 100% acceptable to have as easy a visit as possible before moving on and moving forward on your own.
But for others, the holidays are a valuable time to have these important conversations. If you also need help overcoming past family issues and trauma, reach out to Long Island Counseling Services, today.