Anger Management, and What Happens When Dogs Have No Productive Outlet for Their Emotions?

Anger Management, and What Happens When Dogs Have No Productive Outlet for Their Emotions?

Anger Management, and What Happens When Dogs Have No Productive Outlet for Their Emotions? 2560 1539 Long Island Counseling Services

Anger is, in many ways, one of the strangest emotions we have as human beings. It is a common one, yet also frequently unproductive. Happy makes you feel good. Sad helps release tension and emotions. Even emotions like anxiety can help drive you to change.

But anger rarely has a positive benefit. Some people believe it might help motivate people to change. Others feel like it offers some form of protection. But anger, especially sudden anger, rarely has much of an interpersonal benefit.

So why do we experience it?

If anger doesn’t have that much of a benefit, why is anger so common and so easy?

It is possibly because anger offers a last resort – it is the last outlet that a person has when they do not feel like they’re in control.

To understand this better, let’s talk about our best friends, dogs.

When a dog is scared, it has a series of steps it goes through to try to stay safe when faced with danger. For example, let’s pretend a dog is coming face to face with another dog. What will the dog do?

  • First, if a dog is afraid, it will start to show its teeth. The hope is that if the other dog sees its teeth, it gets the message that there is a problem and will leave.
  • Second, they’ll start to growl. The growl typically comes after the teeth, and gets louder the closer the other dog gets or the less it will leave it alone.
  • Third, they start to bark, and may even make nipping motions at the other dog. At this stage, they’re showing the dog that if needs to leave before it gets bit.
  • Lastly, it will bark and bite. It will look to others like it’s being aggressive. If the other dog doesn’t get the message the other three times opportunities, the other dog may bite it.

At some point in this process, the scared dog will bite the dog that’s threatening it. But a lot happens first before a dog gets to that point.

However, many dog owners see a dog showing teeth and assume that dog is being aggressive (rather than scared and trying to send a message). So they punish the dog. They yell at the dog. If the dog growls, they yell and punish more. If they bark, they yell and punish more.

Over time, the dogs get scared to show teeth, scared to growl, scared to bark.

What happens next when a dog doesn’t do the warning behaviors?

If the dog gets scared, it skips all the warning behaviors and goes straight to biting. Rather than communicate signs of fear, the dog gets angry and bites right away.

Human beings seem to be reacting very similarly. Anger, in that sense, maybe a sign that they don’t have the other ways of communicating. Maybe they don’t know how to let themselves be sad, or they don’t know how to stay in control and feel like things are safe for them.

Every individual is different, so we’ll have to talk together to try to really understand the cause, but at some point people seem to skip right to anger. They seem to be unable to control themselves, and so anger is their last chance – in their minds – to regain control.

Anger and the Next Steps

Still, we know that, far too often, anger has the opposite effect. It pushes people away, it makes people scared, it is upsetting, and more. Even those that are angry rarely feel better. It is an upsetting emotion for everyone involved.

That is why those that are unable to control their anger should consider seeking a therapist that is experienced in anger management. We’ll work with you to try to get an idea of what is truly leading to your anger and help you find coping outlets that are more productive for you to help you manage your emotions in the long term.

If you’re ready to make a lasting and important change, reach out to Long Island Counseling Services, today.