Over the past several years, “good parenting” has been redefined. Sometimes for the better, but also sometimes for the worse.
For example, these days, many parents do not feel like they are truly “Good Parents” unless their children are in extra curricular activities. Often, they’re expected to be in sports, dance, tutoring, and on and on. The idea of a child just coming home and sitting on the couch is frowned upon.
It is objectively good to have kids learning cool, fun, interesting things. Sports, for example, are very healthy.
But here’s the thing:
Your child also needs to rest. They need physical, mental, and emotional freedom to process, feel safe, and more. Not only can extracurriculars get in the way of that – they’re not necessarily getting it at home, either.
Over-Extending Your Kids
Your children are already in school for 6 to 8 hours a day. They’re learning, they’re playing, and they’re having social experiences. Their school days are filled with both the good and the bad.
The issue, here, is that too many after school activities means that there is never time to relax, unwind, build resilience, or simply rest. Imagine a child had a bad day at school, and someone is mean to them. Instead of processing it and resting, they are brought to swim lessons, then tutoring. Then they come home where it’s time for homework and bed.
Now imagine this happens every day.
This can be especially problematic with ADHD. While some after school activities can be great for children with ADHD, we also know that their minds are being tested and drained all day. If they are kept too busy, then they come home and they have to focus on homework and sleep, you are going to get a child that is consistently overwhelmed.
Another challenge here is that what home time many kids have is often filled with less relaxing tasks. When a child is busy all day, they may come home and – instead of play outside, rest, or talk – they use their limited time on something like YouTube or social media as they get older.
Those activities are not relaxing, even if they seem or feel relaxed. They cause digital overload and make it harder, not easier, to rest.
Now, when children have a bit more time, they are more likely to play in a playroom, go into the backyard, or do other activities. But when they have limited time, many jump on to tech and use their time in even more activities that are not safe for their mental health.
After school activities are useful. But your child also needs some time to rest. They will benefit mentally and emotionally if they are able to play, read, or do whatever they want to calm down.
How to Be the Parent You Want to Be
Stacy, the founder of Long Island Counseling Services, has a video that addresses this specifically along with many other topics. Take a listen:
If you want to make this year the best year it can be, and you want help for your child – or you – reach out to Long Island Counseling Services, today.