There’s a popular saying that “marriage is hard” and “marriage takes work.” Both of those sayings are true, but they also sometimes hide something about marriage that many couples struggle with: that sometimes, it’s not that there are problems in your marriage, but rather that you haven’t yet developed the skills as a couple to communicate those problems in ways that are emotionally and psychologically healthy.
Most couples only seek out a marriage therapist on Long Island when they feel like they are on the brink of something terrible – like a divorce or a big fight waiting to explode. But while this type of counseling is useful for those types of couples, it is often recommended to seek out this type of approach not as a last resort, but rather when you realize that there are ways that you know you need to grow, but you need someone to help you get there.
What is Marriage Therapy?
Before we can begin to talk about the benefits of marriage therapy, we first need to understand what it is – or at least, what it is not. Marriage therapy is not just a vent session, where you talk about problems with a counselor who lets you know who is right and who is wrong.
Marriage therapy is a science. It’s been studied. Techniques like the Gottman Method have received, and continue to receive, extensive research that is continually being updated with new techniques and strategies. There is an open ended component for couples that seem like they’d benefit as well, but that is something that you and your therapist will work out together to determine if open ended sessions make more sense for your struggles.
But, in a general sense, most marriage counseling is very structured, with specific techniques to build:
- Better ways of communicating.
- Greater levels of intimacy.
- More focus on prioritization of each other.
- Strategies to feel more connected.
- Ways of promoting trust, and much more.
These are skills that most couples would benefit from, even those that do not feel they have “problems” that require a couples therapist.
When to Consider Marriage Therapy?
Once you understand what marriage therapy is, it is also easier to see when it can be useful for almost all couples. It is a great choice for couples that are trying to increase their intimacy, or couples that feel their marriage hasn’t been the same since having children. It is useful for couples before they get married – those that want to make sure their marriage will start strong.
That is why we encourage anyone, no matter the stage of your relationship, to considering contacting us early and just starting a conversation. You may find that it would help you both improve your love, intimacy, and ability to withstand stresses and setbacks. You’ll often find that marriage therapy has some incredible benefits to help you grow and thrive as a couple.