Phobias are a form of anxiety where a specific “thing,” called a stimuli, results in significant and extreme anxiety. For example, a person could have “Acrophobia,” which is a fear of heights. Or they could have “arachnophobia,” which is a fear of spiders. A person experiences a phobia when there is a specific living thing, item, event, or situation that causes them this fear.
These anxiety responses can be intense – so much so that people faint, have panic attacks, feel jumpy, and more, all from only a brief encounter. They may even alter their behaviors as a result.
But the thing about phobias is that the experience itself is often rare or short lived. For example, let’s say you have Ophidiophobia – the fear of snakes.
How often are you really encountering a snake?
One a year? Less? Maybe a bit more if you live somewhere with a lot of greenery. Some people almost literally never encounter snakes in the wild, and may only see them at a zoo or as a pet.
Even situations that you are more likely to experience, like arachnophobia, are still somewhat short lived. You see a spider. Someone kills it. You slowly feel better and move on.
It is because of how infrequent some of these phobias are encountered that many people do not seek treatment for phobias. They see them more as inconveniences than they do something that requires intervention, and – when it’s something like snakes, which are encountered so rarely – do not understand why someone would want to see a therapist.
It’s true that you can live your entire life without treating a phobia. But it’s not true that phobias are not worth treating. In fact, there are many, many reasons to treat a phobia and make your life significantly better and more manageable. For example:
It Often Gets Worse
Let’s talk for a moment about operant conditioning, a psychological theory that explains a lot about human behavior. If you have ever owned a dog, you’ve probably used the principles of this theory to train it. If you’ve ever given your dog a treat for doing a behavior you like that is an example of operant conditioning. It’s the idea that rewards and punishments affect behavior.
For example, you tell a dog to sit, and your dog sits, and you give it a treat, then it is more likely to sit when you say “Sit” next time.
But operant conditioning is not just about rewarding a behavior. It is broken up into 4 parts:
- Positive Reinforcement
- Negative Reinforcement
- Positive Punishment
- Negative Punishment
Reinforcement is for situations in which we want more of the behavior. Punishment is for situations we want less. “Positive” and “negative” in this case means whether we give (positive) or take away (negative). Positive punishment is what we mentioned earlier. Giving a dog a treat for their behavior is an act of giving (positive) reinforcement (reward). That makes them more likely to do the behavior.
Positive punishment is if you were to yell at a dog for taking food. That scares them and makes them less likely to do the behavior in the future (side note: dogs actually do not respond well to this type of punishment, but that’s not related to what we’re talking about today).
Which brings us to the point of this section: negative reinforcement.
Negative reinforcement is when a behavior is more likely because a something – usually a bad thing – is taken away. Scientists can show that a person (and animal!) is more likely to do a behavior if something taken away results in a better overall outcome.
What does this have to do with phobias?
Well, let’s say you are afraid of snakes. You go outside and see a bush, worry a snake might be in a bush, and walk to the other side of the street to avoid the bush. Now you feel better. You took away your fear. This is called “Avoidance.”
What this does is it reinforces the phobia. In a way, it teaches your brain that snakes ARE something to fear, and that avoiding them helps. That means in the future, you are not only more likely to avoid bushes, but also more likely to experience fear around snakes.
When you have a phobia, you do this all the time. You scream for a spouse to kill a spider, or refuse to go on a hike because it’s too high. You eventually experience more severe symptoms as a result, because you reinforce your fear in the process.
Your phobia may be more manageable now, but science shows that it tends to get worse over time as a result of this operant conditioning.
It Does Affect You
“My phobia doesn’t affect me very often.” That’s a common statement many people make about their fears. While it is generally understandable to feel that way, we often find that that it isn’t really true. At least not consciously.
Remember, “Avoidance” is extremely common with phobias. People will avoid any situation that may cause them to feel their fears. They may also do this entirely subconsciously. A person that is afraid of needles, for example, may “not like the doctor” and avoid getting vaccines they need. A person that is afraid of dogs may “not like the park” and avoid going to parks where dogs are common.
People avoid hiking, camping, travel, and more, all because they have a phobia that makes it less pleasant for them. They may not even realize that this is why they’re avoiding these situations – they simply feel like they don’t enjoy them, and will avoid them as a result.
This means that you’re missing out on many of the activities that make things enjoyable, losing out on experiences with friends and family, and more. You’re affecting your life in ways you may not realize it.
Similarly, when you do experience the fear, the fear can be more harmful than you think. A person with arachnophobia may see a spider and be anxious for hours and hours – possibly unable to sleep – as a result of seeing that spider.
Lack of sleep, extreme stress, all of these are harmful to the body and mind. People can develop anxiety and stress conditions if they’re experiencing these too often, in addition to minor problems like lost productivity and other sleep-related issues.
Your phobia affects you in many ways, even if it feels uncommon and manageable.
It Also Affects Others
There’s also a belief that a phobia isn’t that important because it doesn’t affect other people. But many partners do find that it’s challenging for them to change their life in order to help someone with their phobia. Others may also find it stressful to help calm someone during these periods of fear.
However, the biggest way that a phobia can affect others is if you have kids. Children pick up fears from their parents. Untreated phobia means that your child may be more likely to develop the same phobia in the future. For those that want to give their child some relief, addressing the phobia is the best way to make sure that you’re not sharing your phobias with your child.
You Deserve Better
Lastly, even if a phobia was mild, and even if you rarely encounter the phobia stimulus, you deserve better than living with extreme anxiety. Phobias respond very well to treatment, and many people find long term relief with therapy – sometimes (although not always, depending on the cause), even an abbreviated therapy program.
You don’t need to live with a phobia. You can speak to a therapist, and know that you’re working with someone that can help you find relief from your most pressing and significant symptoms.
If you’re ready to get started, please contact Long Island Counseling Services, today. We are more than happy to help you address your anxiety and phobias, and see if we can find effective ways to help you manage them in the short and long term.